I know by my title, everyone thinks I am pregnant. However I am not and do not plan to be for quite a while. That is just the topic of my little blog post today...
You know I think it is interesting that when you get married everyone asks,
"when are y'all going to have a baby???"
We would tell everyone we are both still in school and trying to make ends me. We are in no way ready for a baby. Then two months after we were married, I found out I was pregnant. Are you kidding me? So here we now have sweet little Parker in our Life. He is precious and I wouldn't change a thing. We love our little boy and he is the best thing in the world.
However, now that we have him, everyone is once again asking,
"when is it time for another one?"
Are you kidding me. I just had one. He will be three months old Monday. It is not time for another one.
So my question to everyone is...
Why does everyone ask everyone that? Why is it so important for people to know that??? Can anyone help me out on that one??? Does this bother anyone else? Or do I just like to keep some things private and to myself and don't want everyone to know my business???
10 years ago
9 comments:
Oh man...I could write a novel. Sorry, but it's nobody's business but yours and your husband's. I get SOOO sick of the "How's the baby making?" questions. I'm not sure how to answer? Do people who ask that want a play by play of my sex life?? I mean, what kind of question is THAT!? What if I DON'T WANT more children? What if I CAN'T have more children? That's between me an my husband and NO ONE else. And it certainly shouldn't be fodder for anyone's gossip sessions. I seriously can't stand people who are gossipy and think they have any right to butt into and/or discuss with others anyone's personal business...it's just not right. LOL...can you tell I have some personal experience and frustration with this???
Hey Kim, I hear you on that! I deal with that question all the time espically in Buna. I hate that question because the whole time we lived in Buna we wanted and was trying but it was not happening, so when they asked I was like, "what should I say". I agree with what Janelle was saying. I wish people would learn how upsetting this question is because people that can't have kids struggle to answer and you just gave them that reminder their problem. Sorry I can go on and on about this, and I dont even have one child.
Kim, I understand your frustration. One day I had updated my status one facebook to reflect the boredom while I was waiting at the doctor's office and my aunt commented asking if I was pregnant! We have been married for six months and people act like we have been married forever. It bugs, I know. Unfortunately, it's just kinda the way things are. I don't think that people mean to be nosy or intrusive. Its just something that people do. When you say you are engaged it's "whens the big day". Once you are married it's, "when are you guys going to start a family". So on and so forth...No one means anything by it. I know that its irritating, but try not to be to bothered by it.
Kim! Don't scare me with a title like that! LOL!
I think people ask that question because they are just trying to make conversation. It's not the best conversation piece, but they just want to have something to talk about.
I agree with all the comments. It seems like a completely common and innocent thing to ask (ESPECIALLY common here in Utah, ugh) and I'm sure I've casually asked people the same questions. But we all need to remind ourselves that the question is actually quite personal, and you never know if the couple is trying, having issues, doesn't want kids, etc. It can easily become a touchy subject.
And hearing that people are asking you already makes me really annoyed and I just might push off having kids even longer because of it. HA!
I agree with Becky and Hilary. I know I have done it to just start a conversation. (Sorry Janelle if I have offended you!) It doesn't bother me when people ask. I know they are not doing it to offend me.
It's ok Kim...everyone thinks Kari and I are sinners b/c we're not sure if we want kids =) People automatically assume (and we all no what that does!)
Ha this is funny that I missed this entire post! Anyway I just think some people like to ask those things because there is nothing else to say...like my mom for instance cant stand silence and I can see her asking that question and totally not meaning for it to be offensive. I have asked my close friends in the past that I know are actively trying just because I am excited for them and anxious to know as they are...anyway another thing is in the LDS culture not many people understand or KNOW how NOT to ask those kinds of silly questions and trust me they will never go away. We always got the "when's the next one" question when I was struggling to just keep myself ALIVE after having Hannah. I wanted to scream and tell them to mind their own business because I wasn't handling the ONE I had very well and felt like a total failure.
Anyway so I totally get how ya feel...but not everyone does it to be rude or intrusive. I just think sometimes we don't think about things before we say them ya know? I am guilty of it for sure...Suzie IS my mom =)
ya i don't think people say it to offend anyone...however it is 100% annoying. sometimes when people ask me i just turn to them any say "i've been trying for 2 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!". it shuts them up real fast :)
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