Wednesday, December 16, 2009

My Thoughts

Today, Parker and I attended a funeral for my great uncle. He has been battling cancer for 23 years (give or take a few).

I am a very emotional person. If I see other people crying, I cry. My mom was sitting next to me tearing up (I think that I held my composure because I was having to deal with Parker that wanted down to play). His son gave the eulogy and the only way he could get through it was to tell the funny stories first. He was sobbing when he first got up there (I continued to hold my composure). Throughout the rest of the funeral I was able to hold back the tears and even through the grave site ceremony. They had two marines fold a flag to give to my great aunt and had a gun salute. It was amazing to see.

It wasn't until I heard my great uncles grand-daughter with down syndrome sobbing afterward that I started to tear up. It was difficult to see. I know that our families can be together forever and that we will see my uncle again.

On a side and less serious note - everyone in my immediate family and a few family friends know I have a fear of dead bodies. When I was a little girl and my great grandpa died I had a horrible dream. He was a carpenter and I dreamed that they were burying him with all of the tools that he had ever owned and that they were in the bottom half of the casket. In my dream when I went up to view the body, he sat up and chased me out of the church with a chain saw. I have since then received two toy chainsaws as gifts after telling a few people about this (one from a family at church and one from a missionary that served in our ward and we ended up in a class together at BYU-Idaho).
Going up to see the body of my great uncle I had to stand several feet back to pay my respects - I just can't get up the courage to stand that close. It's no offense to the dead at all...I just can't do it. Is that crazy of me?